


Hate to see my heart hurt

by hahyou_thought



Series: My favorite eggs and pineapples [1]
Category: The Boys (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26448247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hahyou_thought/pseuds/hahyou_thought
Summary: This is just a little something I made because I wanted my babies to comfort each other.Not sure if i succeeded or failed, but o o p.Anyway i hope you enjoy ❤️❤️❤️Time : After episode 4 (s2)
Relationships: The Female | Kimiko/The Frenchman
Series: My favorite eggs and pineapples [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1931572
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	Hate to see my heart hurt

Frenchie is sitting on the rooftop outside of their hideout, he has been for a while, smoking a cigarette. He's been thinking about all the things he's done in his life, not just overall, but to his heart.

Sometimes looking at the night sky would make him feel better, so that's what he's been doing. Looking at the stars and trying to find his way back.

At this point he's lost all track of time and he didn't even know if the rest of the boys were back yet or not, and frankly, at the moment, he didn't care.

All he could think of was of how much he's hurt his heart. His beautiful and lost heart. Lost in grief.

And now, probably... Also lost in anger and hurt.

Never in his life has Frenchie wanted to turn time back and fix it all than right now. He didn't want to do it for himself but for Kimiko. The person who probably wanted to see him least right now...

"Mind if i take a seat?" said a familiar voice.

Frenchie had been so lost in thought he didn't even notice that Hughie has joined him on the roof.

Cought off guard, he responded "Yes of course, petit Hughie...".

Still in a daze, he takes as big of an inhale of his cigarette as he can, trying to burn away his emotions. Although it does no good, he still proceeds to do this.

After a moment or two Hughie finally speaks up again "Are- Are you okay? I mean.. You weren't downstairs to see if we came back alright and I find you out here in the open like we aren't fucking fugitives?... Did something happen?"

Frenchie listens as his friend spoke, reminded of the time he first met Hughie and how much he's grown. Not really sure if it was for the good, or bad.

There's a minute or two of silence between them, Frenchie deep in thought trying to gather his words.

Soon Hughie spoke again "I mean, you don't have to talk about it if you-"

"I kissed her..."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I kissed Kimiko..."

Suddenly everything goes silent, though that's probably just how it felt because of the statement.

A moment of silence passed, Frenchie waiting for Hughies shock to pass.

"I thought I could help her... But i only made it worse. She is mad at me, probably unpleasantly surprised too. Merde. She was so sad... I just wanted to help.. But then what do I do, I get high and fuck my chances up to heaven. And then I stop her from attacking Stormfront because I knew she would not survive on her own. I know she is strong, stronger than any of us but taking on a Homlander dubble by yourself is a little to much for one person, don't you think?.. But then she looks at me like she looks at Butcher... Rage written across her face..."

There's a slight pause in his rant, to catch his breath and probably also words.

"When we were on the boat... With her brother still chained up I went and talked to him... I wanted to learn their language, to be able to understand her better, so that she could speak her mind too... But he refused... And now it's too late.. He's dead and mon coeur hates me.. I want to say I'm sorry, not only that, I want to show her I really mean it.. I want to prove myself again to her, to show her I am still going to help her find herself. But I am afraid I might be too late, or perhaps, by some miracle, I still can apologize, but I'll fuck it up sometime. Weather it's while the apology, or later when I try to protect her but fail miserably... After all.. It is my fault she in this mess to begin with... "

He finally stops talking and looks back up at the stars, not even knowing he looked at his feet while talking.

Hughie looks at Frenchie in shock, not really sure by which information at the moment. After a split second of his shock, he also looks at the stars.

"You know, I'm pretty sure she doesn't hate you."

To this he gets muffled laugh as a respond.

"I'm serious, Frenchie.. In all this time that she's been a part of this messed up group, you've been the one she could rely on the most. She trusts you, maybe right now she's hurt and scared-"

"Scared?"

"Yeah, she's probably scared of losing you, losing another person who showed her kindness after a long time.. Frenchie she just lost her brother, what she needs is time to grief and probably to have a shoulder to cry on. Maybe give her some space, then you can try and talk to her.. "

Frenchie looked at him and responded "You sound just like Cheri.. She said something along those lines too... But, I do not want to wait too long to apologize, you know? I don't know how much longer I can watch mon coeur hurt from afar... I need her to know, I didn't mean to. I know I already said it earlier but I'm not satisfied with that, it wasn't me... "

They don't speak for a moment while Hughie silently agrees and understands him. 

"You know Frenchie... I've always wondered, what does mon coeur mean? I mean you say it all the time, but only when talking to or about Kimiko. So, what's the deal with that?"

Frenchie smiles, that smile he usually has on his face while in the presence of Kimiko. He shuffles a little in his seat to look more at Hughies direction. 

"Mon coeur... It uh-.. It means my heart in French. It is a, what you call it.. Expression, i believe. It is what people call someone who they consider to be their heart, the reason they smile... I've never called anyone that in my life. And I've been around a lot, but I-.. I never really found anyone, yet here I am now... They say.. When you know who your heart is, you know. Having someone to call your heart doesn't necessarily mean in a romantic way, it can be platonic. But I- About Kimiko, I just feel this connection, like we're the same person in two bodies. Soulmates,you know?"

Frenchie explains with glee over his face. Hughie stares at him in amazement, never would he have thought that a man so hard on the outside, would be able to speak with such affection towards someone. Someone who hasn't even spoken a word since they've known her. 

And yet he can't help but think of Anne... This feeling in his gut is telling him, he's already found his heart too.

___________________________________________

The sound of water dripping into the pot echoed through Kimikos room. Now more than ever, she feels alone.. The last time she was by herself, she was in a cage, but then she still knew or thought her brother was alive... But now... 

It has been three days since Frenchie has made the mistake of kissing Kimiko. Since then, both have kept afar, to afraid of what the other might think of that interaction. 

She was laying on her bed, looking at the rat she accidentally killed, crying. The more she looks at it and thinks about it, the more she thinks it represents Frenchie. That one person who, for so long, seemed to not be afraid of her, and now...

Kimiko was surprised to say the least when she felt his soft lips on her own. At that moment she just reacted out of her current anger, but looking at it now, she wishes she wouldn't have... She looks back to when she was pressing The Frenchman against a wall, gripping his throat, almost killing him. Shivers run through her spine 'He hates me... I'm a monster after all...' she thinks as she cries into her pillow, gripping it so much it almost creates a hole.

Her silent screams aren't heard by anyone, not that anyone would care anyway.

Butcher wanted her dead long ago.

At this she thinks about MM and Hughie... They both came to her rescue, and they're still here. 'But if they found out I almost killed Frenchie... They'd hate me too...' a voice echos in her head.

Kimiko silently cries out, still looking at the once alive rat. That innocent creature that was killed by her in shock. Just like Frenchie was hurt by her.

She wanted to voice herself so bad, but couldn't. She wanted to go out of her room and hug Frenchie, but she couldn't. She wanted this shit show to end, but it just didn't...

She wanted so much, but most of all, she just wanted for the pain, guilt, rage, all of the emotions to vanish. Dissappear.

Suddenly she hears a light sound of fabric falling apart, and notices she has made a dent into her pillow. At this action she isn't surprised but more so sad. Sad at how into whoevers life she comes in, she rips it open like a fucking pinata.

Her mind goes back to racing with thousands of thoughts, about her brother, the boys, the Shining Light Liberation Army, all the people she's killed and all the trauma she's endured. The stream of tears on her face gets thicker and all reality is lost for a moment.

That is, until she hears a light knock on her door and a soft "Mon coeur?"

'Frenchie' her mind immediately knows. Her emotions about him flashing in her head. First she wanted to run over, open the door and hug him while she cried. Then she wanted to ignore him. After that she wanted to open the door and give him a deathstare till he left her alone. 

But in the end, she did none of the above.

She just slowly got up and cleaned herself. 

"Mon coeur, please... I just want to talk... To apologize.."

Her door had a giant window in it, although it was blurred out, you could still see if she was at the door. So when she came to the door and sat down at it, as to say she was listening. Frenchie saw this and copied.

They sat there, back to back with the door in between for a moment, until Frenchie decided to continue.

"I am so sorry Kimiko... I shouldn't have done that.. The truth is, i just wanted to help you, i thought that- maybe.. Somehow, that would help.. But it didn't and I probably pissed you off even more and I'm sorry for that too..."

There was a slight pause in Frenchies apology, clearly trying to not mess it up.

"But now I know... You don't need my help right now.. At least not in the way I was trying before... You need time.. And now i know, a little too late, but i still hope you can forgive me someday. What I did was wrong and I shouldn't have done it, I know you probably won't forgive me, but I'd still like you to know I'm sorry... I should have listened to you when you were trying to tell me about your brother.. I'm sorry. I really am, no words are enough for how bad I want to go back and fix it all..."

Listening to this, a few tears fall down Kimikos cheeks, she wants to open the door and tell Frenchie it isn't all his fault and that she almost killed him, but even if she opened the door... She didn't have a voice to tell him that with...

"On the boat... I asked your brother if he could teach me your language... So that you'd have a voice too, so that you could express yourself with more than just your face... But he refused... And I know you probably wont agree, but... I'd still like to learn it, I would like you to teach me if you will. I understand if you do not want to..... Maybe if I'd get you home before, this wouldn't have happened... "

Now her sleeves are getting wet from her wiping away her tears so much and she hates it. She hates being alone and she hates herself for not being able to speak. If she could right now, she would tell Frenchie of how grateful she is for him, how grateful she is that even tho multiple people told him to leave her, he didn't. Grateful he gave her a choice.

Until three days ago Frenchie alway prioritied her over anything, he always gave her a choice when noone else would.

"I'm sorry for taking away your agency three days ago... I really am.. The truth is, I have my own problems to work through, I thought maybe if i helped you all my past trauma would disappear... But now I know better and I'm sorry... I know I've said that a lot, but i really mean it mon coeur..."

He finishes and stays still for a bit. Not really wanting to leave but not really sure if he should stay either.

After a moment of silence he gets up and cleans the dust off of his pants, while on the other side Kimiko also gets up. Staring at the doorknob, contemplating.

As Frenchie was about to leave the door suddenly opens, and there it is.

His heart.

He shots her a sad but soft smile and she looks at him.

They stay like that for a while, just starting into each other until Kimiko finally breaks down and hugs him. Not wanting to be left alone once more. And Frenchie filled with shock, slowly moves his arms to return the embrace.

She burries her face into his shirt, smelling the familiar scent she used to know.

Frenchie lightly leans his head onto hears and softly says "Tu me manques mon coeur..."

**Author's Note:**

> This is a oneshot so I'm not going to write anymore chapters, unless people will really want me too.
> 
> Hoped you liked it and if you want more of The Boys don't be afraid to comment! Also I'm always happy to read your criticism so that I can learn and try to upgrade my writing in the future✨
> 
> Thank you for reading and take care❤️❤️❤️


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